Friday, February 7, 2014

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

A Florida atheist filed a lawsuit over the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days.

The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1a states, "The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God." Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned!

You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yawn. Yet another story with no link, no proof, nothing.

dave said...

We stole Christmas from you while most Christians were out buying useless crap for their ungrateful children. Shopping and fairy tales about some fat bastard in a sleigh have put Jesus second, even though his name is right there in the name of the holiday.

We also managed to detract from the image of Jesus being tortured on a giant stick. In its place is a happy bunny that gives out candy and turns itself into delicious milk chocolate.

Even here in north Alabama, the city of Huntsville recently allowed alcohol to be sold on Sunday. When the neighboring city of Madison found out, they immediately stopped talking about how it was unchristian to sell alcohol on Sunday and instead moaned about how they would lose money to Huntsville. Madison, AL essentially dumped God in favor of tax revenue.

Us godless fools are doing better than you think. And when you really think about it, it's hard to get more foolish than a grown man with an imaginary friend.

Steven said...

Well of course snopes reports on it…

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/atheist.asp

or

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/a/atheist-holiday.htm

Really though Sandy - thanks for putting in the effort of writing up a fun story for us heathens on our beloved first of the fourth. It's nice that you're getting into the swing of things and hopefully finding that there's more joy to be had in being laughed with than laughed at.

Zarek said...

Are you really such a lost soul Corny? Not distinguishing fact from fiction anymore?

Chris said...

Really? You couldn't tell from the phrasing that this is a tale that is meant simply to influence people and make atheists look foolish. I mean it is so ridiculous it's like dumbed down keystone cops comedy.

Anonymous said...

When the rapture takes place, and it will, Christians will not be a laughing matter to the unbelievers.

Mike Brown said...

Hi, my name is Mike and I am currently working on a book called, 'How to Debate Atheists.' I have completed the first three chapters and would appreciate any feedback.


http://mikemanea.com/unapologetics/how-to-debate-atheists/

Anonymous said...

Some folks need to find a sense of humor...life is much better with it.