Friday, February 7, 2014

Eastern mystic David Carradine dies during kinky sex game

First, the original report:

According to my sources, this is a common death scene when auto-erotic asphyxiation goes wrong. Auto-erotic asphyxiation is the perverted and unnatural practice of strangling yourself during self abuse. The "thrill" comes from nearly dying, and is closely associated with a death fetish.

A famous eastern mystic with a history of drug and alcohol abuse killed himself in a perverted sex game. I wonder if they'll list the official cause of death as "suicide" or "misadventure"?


Steven said...

"Eastern mystic David Carradine" - laughed my ass off at that one. You know that Kung Fu wasn't biographical don't you? He was a Hollywood born actor, a damned fine one at that and will be sadly missed. I'm sure you'll get your jollys from his demise though, and what's that if not a form of "self abuse"?

I can't help but wonder in what form of self-flagellatory pose your corpse will be disovered…

Alexander Cornswalled said...


You would look like less of an idiot of you had bothered to learn something about the deceased's life BEFORE you defended him. He became deeply interested on eastern mysticism after his time on that program and credited meditation and herbalism with helping him fight off drug and alcohol abuse.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Cornswalled - eastern mysticism is practised by well over 1 billion Indians and Orientals, not to mention hundreds of thousand of adherents worldwide. More than you crazed Baptist / Christian types.

Explain to us again why your God is the right one and not theirs?

Anonymous said...

Actually, David Carradine was deeply interested in unearthing secret Kung-Fu societies. There is evidence that one of these societies assassinated him in an effort to stop him from finding them out. Organizations such as the one that is accused of assassinating him often assassinate their targets in lewd and gruesome ways, so this would make sense that he was found in the state he was in.

In all the interviews I've seen of him he's been a very kind and courteous man, and people who knew him said he would never do anything like that and they are convinced it was a homicide.

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